It might not sound very romantic, but you can’t argue with stats and figures and following a set of guidelines will probably help you feel more comfortable when sending your first message.Tone down the Netspeak Netspeak is the main culprit when it comes to unsuccessful first mails.So why is it that so many guys and girls (yes girls too) fail miserably in avoiding the move from the Inbox to the trash can?Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow.Well, you can start by remembering these three basic rules: It’s not that “You’ve got a great smile, let’s go out sometime” is a bad opener. I read your profile and thought it was really amazing. So please look at my profile and if you like what I had to say, write back to me when you get a chance. If you’re too complimentary in that initial email, you can come off as desperate and needy. Still, the question remains: how do you say something original and flirty?Yours, Evan Every line of this message can be thrown out. Because anyone whom you contact knows by virtue of you writing to them that a) you liked their profile, b) you liked their photo and c) you’d like a reply. That, my friends, is what separates the most successful online daters from the rest of the pack. In this case, I’ve written them for men replying to women, but the steps are applicable to everyone: Every word of it.The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
And this couldn’t be more true when it comes to contacting someone online.
You mentioned that you’re learning to ride, have you had many lessons?
x Suzie” A message like the one above shows that you have taken the time to read the person’s profile and are not just contacted hundreds of people with the same message.
By commenting on something that they have written in a jokey way, you are showing that you have a sense of humour and it is also nice to compliment someone’s personality in this way.
The message also emphasises a common interest in horse riding and ends with a friendly question, which would encourage the person to reply.
I’ve been doing the whole online dating thing on and off for years now and let me just say, I’ve had the entire range of good, bad and ugly messages arrive in my inbox.